If you deal with hair loss for any reason, someone has almost certainly said to you, “it’s just hair.” If you’ve lost hair because of chemo, you’ve likely heard, “it’ll grow back.” 

And for some of us, those things are true.  But as I lost my hair during chemotherapy for breast cancer those words stung me deeply every time I heard them.  Because for many of us, our hair is more than vanity  – it’s a vital part of our identity.  It’s a signifier of health and well-being.  It can be a form of armor. 

Top photo: My natural hair a few years before my diagnosis.
Bottom row: The stages of my hair from the start of chemo until the end. 

I am also fortunate that before I got to that point, I found Hana.  She made me a beautiful wig that matched my natural hair so closely that most people I encountered had no idea that I had lost my hair at all! 

That wig gave me back a vital piece of myself. 

Because we all know, at least in an abstract way, the physical toll that cancer treatment takes on you.  But the mental effects are just as severe.  It’s different for everyone, of course.  But most of the fellow cancer patients I have met agree that the whole process wears on you emotionally.  And when you look in the mirror and don’t recognize the face looking back at you, it hurts. 

My wig also gave me control over my narrative.  When you look “sick,” people can treat you differently.  My wig gave me the ability to move through the world without feeling like I was wearing a sign that said “I HAVE CANCER.”  I didn’t have to discuss it if I didn’t want to, and that gave me a piece of normalcy that I desperately needed as my life was turned upside down. 

My custom wig by Hana.

Our appearance changes how we experience the world.  It affects how we feel about ourselves.  Sometimes just being able to look a bit more healthy and more like myself made me feel physically better, if just for a while. 

I finished treatment in June of 2023 and had surgery in July of 2023, and am now in good health and growing my hair back (slower than I would like but happy to have it at all).  I remember all too well the way I would look in the mirror every day and feel like a ghost of myself, and how every time someone said “it’s just hair!” I wanted to scream.  I knew that their intentions were good, but they didn’t understand how much it hurt to minimize the loss of something that so defined me. 

          My hair is growing back!